In 1976 Tommy did a rare interview on Michael Parkinson's magic show. Here is that said chat relived.



Tommy enters to the tune of the Sheikh of Araby

Tommy: 'Uh-huh-huh.'

Parkie: 'Whats that you've got on your head?'

Tommy: 'A bucket.'

Parkie: 'Thats not a bucket it's a saucepan.'

Tommy: 'Is it? I got one wrong.'

Parkie: 'Sit down please.'

Tommy: 'Aaah thank you very much.'

Parkie: 'As I said in the introduction you're the most impersonated man
in Britain. I must ask you when was the first time you went, 'Not like that'?'

Tommy: 'I never did.'

Parkie: 'You never did?

Tommy: 'I never said that at all.'

Parkie: 'Really?'

Tommy: 'I never.'

Parkie: 'Well the other thing that they do when they take you off they go - like that
(messes his hair up over both ears) - don't they?'

Tommy: 'No ....... Nooooooooooooooo.' (clears throat)

Parkie: 'What's it like being.......'

Tommy: 'No they don't do that.'

Parkie: 'What do they do?'

Tommy: 'What do they say?'

Parkie: 'They go (hair again).'

Tommy: 'No they don't do that.'

Parkie: 'What do they do?'

Tommy: 'They do it like that (exaggerated hair).'

Parkie: 'Now where, in fact, did the fez come from?'

Tommy: 'Well, err the fez.'

Parkie: 'Yes'

Tommy: 'Well funnily enough the fez came err when I was in Egypt. I was in the
army there you see and err ..........................No sorry I was thinking of something
else. I got led away a bit there. I'm sorry, anyway  it's nothing to do with the show
really..........no it's alright.

Parkie: 'What's the matter?'

Tommy: 'Well I backed a horse today you see, twenty to one, and it came
in at twenty past four!!'

Parkie: 'Really.'

Tommy: 'And it's nothing to do with it really. I don't want to talk about it. It's just a personal thing you know what I mean. But I mean it's like when people give you a tip. They're always from the side of the mouth. They give you a tip like that or like that.
They don't want to hear it themselves in case they back it. You see today......... for the very first........I don't really gamble.'

Parkie: 'No?'

Tommy: 'No, but today this man he gave me a tip and I lost £200.'

Parkie: '£200?'

Tommy: '£200 yes but I mean that's nothing to do with it....... I shouldn't say
anything about it really .... It's just nothing - go ahead.'

Parkie: 'Very upsetting?'

Tommy: 'No, no I'm sorry I brought it up. OH GOD!! (cries into handkerchief)
TWO HUNDRED POUND!! I'll be alright now, ............ I'm alright.'

Parkie: 'I asked you about the fez. Where did you first start how did you
get the act?'(Parkie couldn't ask this next question correctly through
- laughing so much).

Tommy looks behind himself to see who Parkies laughing at

Tommy: 'Who you laughing at - somebody on? Uh-huh-hu -huh.'

Parkie: 'Oh God.'

Tommy: 'Does my voice sound a bit hoarse? It does a bit, doesn't it? I lost my
voice and.............................200 Quid I lost  (cries into hanky). No I lost my voice
a bit and I went and saw a doctor and he err looked down in my mouth and I
went like that (opens mouth wide) and he looked down and he said,
"A little raw" - and so I went "roar" (very quietly) It wasn't loud just, "roar"
(very quietly again). 'No when I got the fez I got it when I was in Egypt - I was
in the army there you see and err we did a show at the YMCA and I used to
wear a pith helmet...........pith helmet!!.................Ooh my teeth itch ...... anyway I
used to wear this pith helmet and then one day I forgot to bring it with me so
I ........these waiters walked about with a fez and a long white beard. So I took
one off their heads and I've wore it ever since.'










Parkie: 'Why aren't you wearing it today?'

Tommy: 'Why?'

Parkie: 'Why?'

Tommy: 'Well it's a long story attached to that. I'll tell you all about that later on.'

Parkie: 'Let's talk about your magic because although you built your act around not being a very good musician errm magician you are in fact a very accomplished one. I wonder if you can show me a good straight trick, done for real.'

Tommy: 'Oh alright.'

Yommy shows a trick with red sponge balls

Parkie: 'Lets talk a bit more about your act. Have you ever used animals in your
act before?'

Tommy: 'Yes as a matter of fact I have. I've got it here. I brought this back when
I was in err Africa.'

Parkie: 'What is it?'

Tommy: 'It's a mongoose.'

Parkie: 'A mongoose!!'

Tommy: 'It's a man-eating-mongoose.'

Parkie: 'I've never heard of such a thing.'

Tommy: 'And as a matter of fact it's very unpredictable. You know sometimes it's friendly sometimes it's not. The other day I was tickling it under the chin. I did it yesterday and I lost  ..................like that (shows a - finger missing). No it's alright it's there  really see. When I got this I was out in the middle of the Congle jungle and
a friend of mine was there, stationed with me, you see. And err he used to write
home to his mother. And I remember one day he wrote home to his mother.
Dear mum, I'm out here in the heart of the Congle jungle eating bananas and
coconuts all day long. I'm getting brown as a berry - and incidentally the tribe
are head-shrinkers. They could shrink a head the size of a small orange.
And then he puts...........P.S. If you get a bowler hat, size one and a half,
send it over.'

Tommy taps mongoose cage

Tommy: 'You can come out in a minute. Come on. Oh he will .... come out.
Out you come.'

Mongoose flies through the air at Parkie

Parkie: 'It's alright you doing that, you know, but you still haven't explained
why you're not wearing the fez.'

Tommy: 'Well I've got some very sad news because since we've joined the Common Market ......after I think next week I can't wear the fez anymore.'

Parkie: 'Why's that?'

Tommy: 'Because it's the rule of the Common Market.'

Parkie: 'Common Market regulations?'

Tommy: 'Yes that's right and I don't know why we joined we have never won It's a Knockout yet!'

Parkie: 'That's true.'

Tommy: 'You know what I mean? But I mean that's the rules and regulations. So they sent some hats along for me to try on so I can't wear the fez anymore - after all these years.'

Parkie: 'So what what?'

Tommy: 'I mean fez fez.'

Parkie: 'Fez fez absolutely - so what we got?'

Tommy: 'I'll just try a few.'

Tommy: 'No.'

Tommy: 'I didn't send 'em they sent 'em along, know what I mean?'

Tommy: 'They keep sending 'em.'

Parkie: 'A flying helmet?'

Tommy: 'No walking helmet.'

Parkie: 'A walking helmet?'

Tommy: 'You wanna see my plane!'

Parkie: 'Which is the favourite?'

Tommy: 'Don't know. No wonder I kept getting lost.' (Has Foreign Legion hat on back-to-front)

Tommy: 'What's this? This is mine I wear this!!' (Has mediaeval knight hat on) 'Forget the Common Market I'll stick to that.'

Howzat!!!'


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